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Alabama linebacker Rashaan Evans is one hell of a smart man. Not only is he one of the best college linebackers in the game right now, but he’s also well aware that there’s not a chance in hell coach Nick Saban will let him ride a live elephant into football games anytime soon. That doesn’t mean he’s not going to try, though.
Evans was meeting with reporters on Tuesday when the topic of live mascots came up. I believe the conversation started in regard to the passing of LSU’s mascot, Mike the Tiger VI (RIP, sweet prince). That’s when a reporter lobbed up a softball of a question, and Evans hit it out of the park. SPORTS!
The best part of this is Evans is joking around about a mascot Olympics (which I’m also 100% for), but when a reporter asks if he wants a live elephant mascot, BOOM, the man is all real talk. Play time is over, bitches.
See, opposing teams are already intimidated enough going into Tuscaloosa — they’re facing one of the greatest football programs of the last decade. Imagine if that team brings out a fucking charging elephant on top of all that.
And yeah, other live mascots are cool too, especially because there’s always that slight chance they’ll escape. Sure, a tiger breaks lose and we might lose some women and children — sacrifices must be made. But can you even fathom if that damn elephant breaks loose?! There aren’t many mascots that can topple an entire football stadium. That’s pure power. That’s Alabama football.
Saban, I suggest you get on the phone with the zoo ASAP..
Image via YouTube