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Alabama Football Is The Best Car Dealership In The Country

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The camera pulls back from inflatable tube men erratically blowing in a swift breeze to a hobbit wearing a straw hat and crimson windbreaker.

*Awkward multiple second pause*

“Hi, Nick Saban here for Roll Tide Motors in Tuscaloosa where we’re celebrating 10 years of championship pricing and an elite, unmatched automotive selection. No haggle, no hassle. Drive away for zero dollars down with your Alabama commitment today. But don’t take my word for it, listen to our long list of satisfied customers.”

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I touched on this during our sports podcast Back Door Cover earlier today. Alabama has such blatant disregard for violations that you can’t help but respect it. They’re hiding right in plain sight, screaming “suck it” to the rest of the country, and daring the NCAA to do something about it.

I mean former West Virginia quarterback Pat White straight up said he was offered a Corvette from the Tide. Saban actually owns a dealership. Put two and two together. There’s zero chance the books for that place are on the up and up. Cars go in and out of that lot like an inner city chop shop. But hey, that’s just the modern day recruiting game. Bama figured out how to work the system and you can’t do anything but tip your cap to little Nicky and company.

[via USC.247.Sports]

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer, Podcast Host, and Video Guy for Grandex Media. He's Delco trash to the core and a UCF cinema studies graduate because he never got around to applying to an actual film school. Dan is a gambling man, crypto investor, and procrastinator. He enjoys long walks to the water fountain between bench press sets and is not a fan of the homeless, the elderly, or the Phoenix Airport. Email tips to

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