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Abilene Christian University Thinks God Hates Hooters

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hooters college god abilene christian university

Abilene, Texas is the lucky recipient of a new Hooters location, and I’m sure creepy, middle-aged men in North Texas still begrudgingly married to their first wife are thrilled at that news. Of course with a new Hooters comes the need for new Hooters girls (supply and demand), and Hooters wants Abilene’s finest.

All play and no harm, right? Wrong. Apparently Abilene has not one, not two, but THREE Christian universities who frown on the thought of their preciously innocent co-eds donning the Devils’ tank top and short shorts. One school — Abilene Christian University– released a statement that didn’t necessarily tell girls not to apply, but pretty much did.

From The Kansas City Star:

“We have asked students to consider both what Hooters represents and whether that is something they really want to support in terms of both their faith and the value this business model places on women,” a spokesperson, identified as Emerald Cassidy by other publications, told the station. ‘If a student were in a position where the university felt they were not upholding the standards in the handbook, we’d address those issues with that student at that time.”

That entire statement could have been summed up with the meme of Ned Flanders from The Simpsons looking through the window holding up a sign that says “CHRIST IS WATCHING.” They stopped just short of straight-up telling students not to apply or risk repercussions, but if you read between the lines it’s pretty clear that you’re in hot holy water if you do so. Now what was all that about a handbook?

The handbook reference is to a section that instructs “students to make decisions that ultimately glorify God.”

Ah. I guess this doesn’t really surprise me, as I’m used to Hooters causing problems. For example, my friend had his psycho ex-girlfriend break up with him because he was holding our fantasy draft at Hooters, but that’s a different story for a different time. But this seems a little anti-women/anti-freedom.

Hooters has got to love the publicity, but I don’t think God will smite the school if a few of its students pick up some weekend shifts serving wings.

[via The Kansas City Star]

Image via Shutterstock

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Previously known for being the 4th best improv comedian in the state of New Jersey, he enjoyed a brief career in politics by serving on his fraternity's eboard until a scandal not as bad as the Lewinsky scandal, but more memorable than Whitewater lead to his resignation. Now, he spends his time making God awful jokes in chapter meetings, rooting for a shitty New Jersey hockey team, and serving on the congressional committee set to determine whether Oprah Winfrey should be classified as a cult or a religion.

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