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A Little Advice For All the Rushes Out There

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Be Yourself

I understand why some people try to act differently during rush, I really do. People naturally want to fit in wherever they go. This is especially true when they’re around a fraternity known for throwing down the hardest with the hottest girls. They want to be a part of the house they think is the best. But as a lot of fraternity men have witnessed, every year there are one or two signees that slip through the cracks.

This may not seem like a big deal, but believe me, it is not worth being in a house that you perceive to be “top tier” if they don’t accept you as a brother and you don’t fit in. Any fraternity man can tell you they’ve seen “that one kid” in every “top tier” house that leaves you wondering why the fuck he joined, or how the fuck he joined. That poor bastard spends his days slinking around his fraternity house begging people to go hang out with him, asking to be “set up with a date to formal,” and compulsively commenting on TFM.

When you are at rush, act how you would act around your friends, be cool and casual, and you will find the right fit for you. Basically, ignore reputations and what you have already heard (unless the source is EXTREMELY reliable). If you trust your preconceived notions about the fraternities you’ll be visiting, remember this: you’re eighteen-years-old, which means you don’t know shit about shit. Find the house you feel that you fit in with the most and base your decision off of the guys you meet.

Know Your Answers

I’ve been a rush chair before. I can tell you that actives like to hear about the rush’s past to assess how they would fit in to the house, so please inform us. But don’t come to our house and tell me a story about how you got hammered with your two buddies, drunk drove to one of their houses, threw up everywhere and passed out naked. At least lie and say you did something cool. I like hearing your stories, but if I am nodding and saying “Yeah man, that’s crazy,” it’s a pretty good indication that you should just stop. We have pledged, we have been taught how to party, and I guarantee our stories are better. I mean we’re in college for fuck’s sake. There are GDI’s that have better party stories than your high school bullshit. You fingered a freshman in a Wendy’s parking lot after prom? Sweet story bro. Tell me some crap like that and the look I’ll be giving you will be as frosty as the desserts your statutory setting was serving.

  • Ed. Note: A rush once told me he was a virgin because his penis was too big to fit in high school vagina. I didn’t know whether to laugh in his face or stab him. Ultimately I laughed in his face, but I WANTED to stab him. He did not receive a bid. – Bacon

  • Moral of the story, know what you are going say when asked certain things. I am by no means recommending you lie to the people asking you questions. Chances are your honest answer will sound good if it is well thought out. If you plan on saying “I wanna rush a FRAT for the all the fuckin’ boobs and easy sluts and beer… I like beer” you may want to change that to “Well, you know, I’ve always been a part of the party scene in high school and I have always been very social, being Greek would just give me a good opportunity to branch out socially even more.” Better, right? Yeah, try hard free responses make our rush chair hearts smile.

    Show Some Respect

    You graduated high school and you think you’re the shit. Congratulations on completing teenage daycare, no one cares. You’re not the shit, I’m the shit. In fact, we are all better than you because we are older and we pledged before you (which means our pledgeship will always be harder than your pussy ass pledgeship). By this FLAWLESS logic we will always be better than you. Don’t worry though, play your cards right and there will be endless waves of kids after you that you are better than. It’s natural and strongly encouraged to respect your elders in a fraternity, and it’s a basic trait drilled into your head during pledgeship. If you can show us this trait, even a glimpse of it, prior to pledging, we will KNOW you are a good prospect. This goes beyond normal conversational things. Something I found impressive lately was that a rush insisted on paying for his share of the rush event (don’t worry; we’ll NEVER make you pay).

    Talk to Everyone

    And I mean everyone. Get to know the rush chair, the J.I. spring actives, the guy no one likes in the house, everyone. Don’t stop at one house though, put your eggs in every basket around you. That means get to know as many houses as possible, you’ll never know for sure that you signed the right house if you don’t take a look at as many houses as possible. This is especially true on a campus with a big Greek Life scene. If a campus has something like 25 fraternities then chances are AT LEAST half of those are going to be perfectly acceptable houses to join. Not to mention if you don’t look at every house you will have nothing to compare your rush experience to. You may think the guys that brought you to the baseball game and bought you two beers are fucking Gods until you attend a better house’s rush party.

    The most important thing I can tell anyone is to have fun with rush. It’s your first taste of the phenomenal culture shock that is Greek Life. You play your cards right and you will soon be a part of the best minority God has ever created: The 2% of the population that is Greek.

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