As a rushee you have experienced some pretty incredible shit. You have consumed case after case of beer, eaten extravagant meals fit for a king, and been sexually assaulted by strippers on multiple occasions. You’ve only been on campus for a week, and already feel you have a substantial network of people who genuinely care about you. You’ve been to insane parties, and can’t wait to pack the next four years with beer and vagina. The best part is, you’ve done all of this for free. These fraternity guys must just be really hospitable! They just don’t care about the cost of all these recruitment events, because you’re just so awesome and everyone wants you! Right? Wrong.
Welcome to pledgeship. Here are some things to keep in mind:
1. There Is No Such Thing As A Free Lunch
Every time you are treated to something, including all of the wonderful experiences you had during recruitment, you’re going to repay that brother and your chapter back tenfold. Whether that means you’ll get the honor of having a huge dick drawn on your back for the next eight weeks, or are forced to serve as a chapter taxi driver for drunk brothers on the weekends, you will suffer for their kindness. For every time you told a brother about how you dominated high school baseball, or how much freshman ass you slayed during your senior year, they will return the favor by telling you, in equal or greater detail, how much of a piece of shit you are.
2. You Are Never Right
If you think you’re right, you’re wrong. If you think you’re wrong, you’re fucked. Nothing you do will be good enough. Oh, but you still have to give 110% at all times, or you’ll never get initiated.
3. Do Not Forget To Put “Sir” Before And After Everything
Every pledge class has that one member who can’t, for the life of him, remember to serve a “sir” sandwich when interacting with an active. It doesn’t matter how much you know, or how tough you are, if you can’t remember to put a fucking “sir” before and after every sentence. The first and last letter’s of the Greek alphabet are “SIR.” Don’t you ever forget it.
4. Don’t Talk About It
This is the easiest thing you can do to help yourself, because it requires you to not do anything. Thinking about texting that Kappa you’ve been banging about how hard your day was, or how you scraped your knees doing bows ‘n toes on the concrete? Think again, motherfucker, and keep your complaints to yourself.
5. You’re A Pledge
Understand that the moment you put that pin on you are no longer a human being. The dog is more of a human to them than you are. You are not a brother. You are not a member. You do not matter. You are a pledge.0
6. There Is No Such Thing As “Clean Enough”
You will be cleaning the house. A lot. Remember that there will always be more ways you can make the house clean. If the ground under the couches that haven’t been moved in five semesters have dirt under them, you aren’t doing enough.
7. Grin And Bear It
No matter how bad it gets, everyone has done it before. Enjoy these moments for what they are. Believe it or not, you’ll miss some of this stuff when you’re initiated. Pledgeship is the most fun you’ll never want to have again. Just don’t actually smile, or you’re fucked.
8. It’s Worth It
There is a reason why there are so many Greeks throughout this great country of ours. There is a reason pledgeship is so hard. There is a reason behind everything. Just remember that there’s a lot you don’t understand yet. Rushing is like looking through the window at a Greek organization. It’s like watching a movie trailer. Whatever you do, don’t bitch out. Don’t call mom, and don’t drop out. Don’t be a pussy.