50 Things Only Rich People Can Get Away With

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50 Things Only Rich People Can Get Away With

It’s been said that, “If you’re poor and you do something stupid, you’re nuts. If you’re rich and do something stupid, you’re eccentric.” There are of course numerous derivatives of this quotation that convey a similar sentiment. More recently, Twitter’s @Dory put it, “Fifty Shades of Grey is only romantic because the guy is a billionaire. If he was living in a trailer, it would be a Criminal Minds episode.”

The inimitable Adam Carolla also has a great bit (and a fun book) on what rich people and poor people have in common – from spending evenings by the fire and having an outdoor shower to not carrying a wallet and having four cars in the driveway.

A recent Reddit thread evolved Carolla’s idea beyond not only what rich people and poor people have in common, to what behaviors are regarded as socially acceptable only if you have money. So I decided to pick my favorites and add some of my own.

Here are 50 things only rich people can get away with:

  1. Day drinking
  2. Inbreeding
  3. Eating cheese by itself
  4. Stealing money
  5. Face fucking a dead pig (à la David Cameron)
  6. Paying cash
  7. Riding your bike to work
  8. Eating pigeons and rabbits
  9. Repurposed wood furniture
  10. Being a minority in Connecticut
  11. Stubble beards
  12. Wearing animal print
  13. Letting other people pay for dinner
  14. Living in Florida
  15. Yard games
  16. Drinking from mason jars
  17. Going to rehab
  18. Hookers
  19. Having a bunch of kids
  20. Taxidermy
  21. Getting someone else to drive you around
  22. Gambling
  23. Moving to a foreign country (One’s an expat; the other is a migrant)
  24. Cocaine
  25. Not knowing how to use the internet (à la Lindsey Graham)
  26. A really long driveway
  27. Cheating on a spouse
  28. Owning a horse
  29. Old cars
  30. Wearing ragged clothes
  31. Taking financial handouts from the government
  32. Alcoholism
  33. Having a tan
  34. Nepotism (affirmative action for the rich)
  35. A criminal record
  36. Living in a hotel
  37. PBR
  38. Going to the racetrack
  39. Drinking on a boat
  40. The dad bod
  41. Naming your daughter Mercedes or Porsche
  42. A vegetable garden and a chicken coup in the backyard
  43. Getting married at home
  44. Dating someone half your age
  45. VCRs (If you’ve ever stayed in an old rich guy’s guest house, you know what I’m talking about)
  46. Adult children who still live at home
  47. Orgies
  48. Having a pool and a pond in the backyard
  49. Letting someone else raise your kids
  50. Bankruptcy

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John LeFevre is the creator of @GSElevator on Twitter, and the author of the New York Times bestseller, Straight To Hell: True Tales of Deviance, Debauchery, And Billion-Dollar Deals.

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