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5 Kickstarter Campaigns That You Should Definitely Donate To

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The Girl Going On A Mission Trip To Africa

Jessica needs this $6,000. How else is she supposed to be able to afford a two month trip halfway across the globe? Don’t be selfish. Is your $20 really worth that much to you? You were just going to spend it on beer anyway. Wouldn’t you feel better giving it to a REAL cause?

As it says in her bio,

“Why should you donate? Why shouldn’t you?! This experience will give me the AMAZING opportunity to hold little third world babies in my arms. Going here will make ME feel better about myself. I will get to use my first world technology to improve these children’s lives by taking exploitative photos to put on my Instagram account #blessed. When my two months is over with, I will run back to my life of comfort, leaving no real impact on the quality of living here. However, rest assured that the positive impact on MY wellbeing will be well worth your investment. Give what you can.”

Well, I’m sold. Help a girl out. 

The Kid From High School Who Wants To Become A Rapper

The dude needs recording equipment. Not only is studio time hard to get, it is expensive. Furthermore, how is Spencer supposed to post a story with the hashtag #inthelab at 2:00 a.m. if he doesn’t have his own space? Kicking beats in the voice recorder section of his Android just isn’t cutting it anymore.

As he elaborated,

“I always had a passion for hiphop music ever since I stole an Eminem CD from K-Martz is the 3rd grade. In high school me n the homies always be kicking beats outside the school. Im just tryna live my dreamz out n all we need is 10000 dollars to make that happen. Please give what u can to help a homie out. God Bless.”

Very well articulated. Help Spencer turn his basement bachelor pad into the sickest suburban studio this side of 8 mile. 

The Festival Girl Whose Parents Cut Her Off

Sarah lives a tough life. Her parents recently delayed the release of her trust fund from age 19 to 21. That means that she might have to miss Coachella this year. Missing the biggest music festival of the year could prove very detrimental to her development into a successful adult. These types of experiences are supposed to be what shape you as a youth. What if she can’t go? This could ruin her.

“Coachella is an out of body experience. I have been four times and it is the best thing that has EVER happened to me. Flights, hotels, tickets, and other activities can be VERY expensive. This $3000 will help cover all of that. I spend all year perfecting my outfits for this event, and it would be a shame if all of that work went to waste. Please don’t let the unreasonable actions of my anarchist parents negatively impact me. Give what you can even if it is one cent. Good vibes to all.”

Don’t let these anarchists get away with this. Smash that donate button.

Some Other Kid’s Spring Break Trip

Forget about yourself for a minute. Trent, Dustin, Jake, and Brad are all trying to go on spring break, too. Only problem is that they don’t have any money. Every college kid should get the opportunity to experience a week in South Padre. It’s not even the accommodations that are expensive, it’s as Brad explained, “all the other stuff.”

“Beer prices are really up this year. On top of that, we have to pay for flights because none of us have cars, and apparently Ubers won’t drive more than 500 miles. Throw in hotel accommodations, and a basketball jersey to wear for every day of the week, stuff adds up. We’re not asking for much, just enough to enjoy our junior spring break. Give what you can. $2,500 is the goal. Bless you all for your kindness.”

You can’t have any crazy spring break stories if you don’t go on spring break. They’re not asking for much, just enough. 

The “Personal Trainer” Who Wants To Start His Own Gym

Heath has a solid customer base and now it’s time to take the next step. The crossfit circuits in his parents’ backyard have become crowded. He needs your help to expand. 

“Two years ago, I left my education at Mountain Valley State Community College to pursue a dream, and that dream was fitness. With the help of Facebook, I have been able to curate one of the best customer lists in the area. From our mailman Fred to Susan who works for my dad, my customers rave about my workouts. Your small investment of $50,000 will help me take these workouts to a larger audience. We’re talking state-of-the-art equipment, 24/7 service, tanning beds, everything you need to be successful. Please give what you can so that I can continue to provide these people the best service of their lives.”

Well said, Heath. Well said.

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Dent is a washed up former athlete who swears he's totally over his ex-girlfriend. One of these days he'll get around to applying to a real job, but until then he'll keep pumping out lackluster articles while downing copious amounts of Natty Light.

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