She owns an inflatable swan, donut, or killer whale.
She owns a one piece with the words “dope” or “bae” on the front.
Her mom has had more husbands than she’s had boyfriends.
She posts text only Instagrams of common quotes and phrases to express her individuality.
The only older man in her life isn’t her father.
She has more than 10K Instagram followers.
She pimps out tea, beauty products, or workout supplements to those followers.
She claims all three cities of NYC, Miami, and LA in her bio.
She documents every time she ever eats a slice of pizza.
She only has guy friends because girls are “too much drama.”
Self described “free spirit” who still hasn’t quite “found herself.”
She “lives to travel” despite never leaving the state.
Those nudes came a little too easy.
She considers any time spent with a guy that owns a DSLR a professional photoshoot.
You’re non-existent on all of her social media accounts.
In fact, there’s not a single photo of her with anyone but herself on her social media accounts.
She works out at the gym with her hair down.
She makes a public display of tanning on campus.
She went to both weekends of Coachella.
She listens to The Weeknd and G-Eazy.
She’s been on multiple DJ tour buses.
She wears heels everywhere, including your intramural sports games and the fraternity house.
She’s the sweetheart of another fraternity.
She takes photos eating dick shaped foods.
She uses the dog filter on Snapchat on a daily basis.
She drives a white Range Rover.
She has a ribcage tat.
She idolizes Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn, or Lana Del Rey.
Grinding with other dudes isn’t a “big deal.”
Neither is anything that’s “not penetration.”
Her sexual résumé consist of nothing but club promotors, bartenders, and athletes.
She always “knows a guy” with bottle service.
You’ve heard her drop “I don’t usually do this” on multiple occasions.
The first time you had sex wasn’t in a bedroom.
You slipped it backdoor without her even acknowledging it wasn’t her vagina.
She goes to community college.
She goes to a directional school.
She goes to a state school.
You weren’t cast in her role playing fantasies.
You see her with a dick inside her that isn’t yours.
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