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35 Reasons Why Being A Giant Is Awesome

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If you are like most guys, you probably wouldn’t mind being an inch taller and having a bit more meat on your bones. Giant dudes simply aren’t like most guys.

  1. You played a sport in high school.
  2. You were probably good at that sport in high school.
  3. People always assume you played a sport in college.
  4. You played a sport in college.
  5. The amazed look on people’s faces when they ask you how tall you are never gets old.
  6. People look up to you. Literally.
  7. People naturally respect larger people, so they probably look up to you figuratively as well.
  8. Nobody fucks with you. Ever.
  9. If people fuck with you, they almost always end up in worse shape than yourself.
  10. Especially at the bar, where your buddies are bouncers.
  11. Cardio is easier, because, much like a Hummer uses more gas than a Prius, you burn more calories than smaller people.
  12. You can most likely bench/squat an impressive amount of weight.
  13. You have the unique ability to be impressively strong, but not necessarily ripped. It is otherwise known as “Bear-mode.”
  14. If you are ripped, then you look like fucking Hercules.
  15. You can drink more than the people around you.
  16. You can eat more than the people around you.
  17. Seriously, dieting means only eating an entire pizza.
  18. Your drunken fast food orders are beyond epic.
  19. Extra pounds from eating and drinking aren’t such a big deal when you are huge.
  20. You get shotgun by default.
  21. Women love tall dudes.
  22. Tall women love tall dudes. It’s simple science.
  23. You can easily pick up women. Literally.
  24. You appreciate a well-built woman with strong child-bearing hips.
  25. Her father likes you more than her little shit of an ex-boyfriend.
  26. You are content with the knowledge that if you marry a tall woman, you will presumably produce future Olympic gold medalists.
  27. Most everyone knows you, even if it’s just by “that huge dude.”
  28. You are highly visible on the dance floor.
  29. You are a surprisingly graceful dancer for your stature, but you still look goofy.
  30. You don’t give a shit about how goofy you look because you always have a great time.
  31. You can drive the ball a country mile.
  32. When looking at old photographs, you can always find yourself in the back row of whatever group you were in.
  33. You are always big spoon, and you’ve proudly accepted that fact.
  34. You drive a big vehicle.
  35. You probably have a great nickname.

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JohnnyPSK (@MrJohnnyPSK) is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move. Johnny is a big man who attends a small school. He is currently dominating the fantasy football leagues that don't matter.

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