======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
Congrats on successfully avoiding getting an internship this summer, but poor form not being able to convince your parents to let you stay on campus.
“But I’ll be bartending!”
Really? That was the best argument you had? You actually thought you could convince your mom to let her sweetums stay away from her for what would have ended up amounting to about an entire year by telling her you’d be spending that time slinging drank to underagers and contributing to the general delinquency she (rightfully) believes has changed you from her cute little man into the cretin standing before her? If so, definitely bartend once you get back to campus in August; I feel like you’ll be relying on it for employment for years to come, you dolt.
But for now, you’ve got a helluvalotta time to waste at home on the couch and not many options. The summer lull is real, and springs from one’s inability to adjust to the decrease in activity possibilities afforded to a college student once they leave their campus kingdom. Netflix is the time-tested go-to, but you can only watch reruns of The Office and It’s Always Sunny so much before your brain feens for something different. Here are three fun summer couch activities to consider once you hit that Netflix wall.
If you’ve never seen Game of Thrones, I get it. I was you until a few months ago, telling people I wasn’t going to conform and give the light of day to their pop culture phenomenon. Then I watched the pilot for the first time on a whim. Fast forward to present day and I’m all caught up, would ace a GoT television show trivia test (fuck the books), and have my own terrible theories and takes that would make George R.R. Martin roll in the grave some people want to send him to for “refusing to finish writing the damn books” (not like I care, because fuck the books). I got sucked into this show faster than a crying Matthew McConaughey got sucked into that black hole in Interstellar. And hey, why not toss Grandex a bone and follow along with our Game of Thrones podcast, Oysters, Clams &
Cockles, while you watch?
Already caught up on Game of Thrones? You still have plenty of time for a total series re-watch before season 7 starts up on July 16. Get after it. Valar morghulis.
Recommendations: Game of Thrones, Silicon Valley, The Wizard of Lies, The Night Of, Westworld
I always feel like Hulu had its moment in 2011 and has been fringe relevant ever since, but apparently some people swear by it? Weird. I Hulu specifically by mooching off my sister’s account whenever I feel like watching Seinfeld, but after a cursory glance at the rest of their offering there is some actual gold here. Their lineup of vintage Disney movies makes Hulu the go-to video streamer for date nights, but sadly you’re living at your parents’ house right now, loser, meaning you won’t be having any female interaction other than kisses goodnight from mommy until you’re back on campus. Tragic.
Recommendations: Seinfeld, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, South Park, Miami Vice, Key & Peele, The Mighty Ducks
Buy the Burn Notice anthology on DVD and binge that shit
I can’t recommend this option high enough. If you listen to the Inside TFM Podcast, then you know how I feel about Burn Notice. If you don’t, let me tell you: it’s the best show ever of all time. Action, romance, drugs, guns, guys named “Sam Axe;” BN has it ALL. The entire Burn Notice anthology is actually available to watch right on Netflix, but because this article is about alternatives to Netflix I have to recommend here that you head to the nearest DVD store (keeping in mind that it may be numerous states and possibly countries away from you) and pick up all 7 box sets. I envy your summer so, so much if you elect to go this route..
Image via Shutterstock