Bringing you the 25 best TFM columns of the year.
The SEC is almost like a commune in the way that it mutually weakens itself in order to raise up the whole. (That’s right, SEC fans. I just compared your conference to a hippie, communist retreat.)
Her real name is Margot Robbie. She’s 23 years old and she’s from Australia. Another interesting fact about her is she’s fine as fuck and has a major league set of perky cutters. And she’s got the sex appeal to match.
The gut says American beer. The abs say Bacardi and diet. Which date sounds more fun?
There must be something in the water at the University of Florida’s Zeta chapter that breeds gorgeous, blonde sportscasters.
It turns out her name is Lane Lindell and she’s a model, like a real model, not that anyone would be surprised by that.
20. The Greatest Email We’ve Ever Received Is From A Job Applicant Who Brutally Insulted Our Entire Staff
Instead of simply explaining how he’d be a valuable asset to Grandex, he typed 1,300 words of devastating insults for nearly our entire staff.
Here it is, guys: how to actually get butt stuff.
“I swear I’m on birth control” is the most dangerous phrase in the American lexicon. If she’s a random, wrap it up just in case.
Give her a good ass slap in front of him and exclaim, “Not as tight as I remember.”
Freshman girls like your dad body because they think you’re a mature, grown man who will make their high school boyfriends jealous.
I’m going to help him fix this situation. After he follows my 7-step, foolproof process, one of two things will happen: 1) he’ll leave the friend zone and enter the sex zone, or 2) it will absolutely destroy their friendship. Both options are advantageous for him.
If she happens to ask you for one of the following drinks, then I can almost guarantee that you’ve found yourself a keeper.
They’re clearly not the standard bikini bottom of old–the kind that covers the majority of your ass cheeks and you can comfortably wear around Dad.
A trip to Fort Worth probably means getting hammered and going to a concert at Billy Bob’s, too. You just can’t go wrong with TCU.
Chels is going to Panama City Beach, Florida. Sounds like fun. I hope the weather is nice!
This position is a jack of all trades. It can literally be executed anywhere you can fit two people.
Preston: His family is from the northeast. Has never seen a black person in real life.
I have yet to come across a dick that I couldn’t take.
I propose to once and for all settle the debate of who is the frattest quarterback in the NFL. My choice: Jay Cutler from Santa Claus, Indiana.
Kelly: Fun-loving and wild, Kelly has made more than her share of mistakes. Beware of a potential 12-stepper.
She’ll help you fool your parents into thinking that you’re a functioning member of society.
4. Interview With Playboy Poker Player Dan Bilzerian, Whose Instagram Will Make You Hate Your Pathetic Life
What he does off the screen and away from the poker table have been making waves as tall as his stack of chips. And he has a beard that just won’t fucking quit.
If you can look past her personal opinions on government, she’s going to be a tremendous pick. She’s going to be a generous, giving wife on and off the field, if you get what I mean.
No man should have society dictate to him that he is required to shuck oysters in order to be sexually competent.
He’ll be much more likely to get down on one knee if he knows you’re willing to get down on two.