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Did you know it only takes seven seconds to leave a lasting first impression? Lucky for you, syllabus week lasts seven whole days, and gives you the opportunity to make many first impressions on your college professors. This is an ever-important week for you to establish yourself as an alpha male, a pack leader. Here are the top 24 power moves to pull during syllabus week:
- Actively drinking in class and not even trying to conceal it.
- Going on campus solely to haze your pledges.
- Hazing other chapters’ pledges by pretending to be an active member they don’t know.
- Asking the ethics professor if he/she would’ve shot Harambe.
- Letting the girl next to you know that this is your 3rd time taking this class so she should go directly to you with any questions.
- Enrolling in a women’s studies class for all the wrong reasons.
- Enrolling in a sexual behavior class for all the wrong reasons.
- Impersonating a professor and canceling class before it starts.
- Racking up more arrests than classes attended.
- Rushing a Christian ministry fraternity, attending their root beer pong event, claiming you “thought it was BYO vodka and cocaine” when confronted.
- Facetiming into a lecture from the shitter.
- Getting blackout drunk, passing out, and having your pledges carry your lifeless body to the front row of your class so you can get attendance points.
- Doing lines of sweet Colombian bam bam with your hot new TA.
- Asking too many too-specific questions to your criminal justice professor.
- Starting a bullshit business.
- Whipping your dick out for Harambe.
- Finding the most clueless freshman, taking him in, raising him as your own.
- Watch checking the professor after 5 minutes.
- Starting every class discussion with “Actually, what our forefathers would’ve wanted is…”
- Ripping shots in the hallway but never entering the classroom.
- Starting a fist fight with someone on the football team solely to get him arrested and thus be known as “that guy who got the backup running back kicked off the team.”
- Attending class in full Edward Fortyhands attire.
- Not going to class without a BAC over .08.
- Not going to class..
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