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22 Phrases We Need To Retire

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There are certain things we say that are as annoying as your new Philosophy lecture with that professor who has mandatory attendance. Here are 22 phrases we gotta stop saying as soon as humanly possible.

  1. It’s lit, fam
  2. No, it’s not.

  3. Netflix and chill
  4. It’s time to move on to Hulu and hang or Amazon Prime and 69.

  5. “That’s so gay”
  6. What is this, 2006? If you say this, just know that we all know you’re so deep in the closet you’re finding Christmas presents, Narnia, and your old Sega Genesis.

  7. I can’t even
  8. Yes you can, Becky.

  9. The struggle is real
  10. No, it’s not.

  11. Squad goals
  12. Squad goal: get people to stop saying squad goals.

  13. Man bun
  14. Honestly, we just need to get rid of man buns overall.

  15. Low key
  16. We high key say this too much now.

  17. Relationship goals
  18. We all know you’re never gonna find a boyfriend, Deborah. You have herpes and you banged the whole debate team last month.

  19. Make America Great Again
  20. When was America more great than it is now? When minorities and women had less rights? When it was okay to be a bigot? When Trump still had hair and didn’t have to wear that hilarious roadkill on his head?

  21. #ImWithHer
  22. For those of you who don’t know, “her” refers to Hillary Clinton. Why would you be with Hillary? Just because she’s a f____? Sorry, I tried to say female but the emale got deleted (I’m the first one to make that joke, I swear).

  23. Harambe jokes

  25. Trigger warning
  26. TRIGGER WARNING: if opinions that aren’t exactly like yours are “triggering” to you, then please go fuck yourself because you’re a weak, hypersensitive dickbag.

  27. Safe spaces
  28. No more safe spaces. Stay here and get triggered.

  29. Check your privilege
  30. Ok, just checked it. Now what?

  31. Turnt
  32. Boy, you better “turn” your ass around and go home, you obnoxious douchebiscuit.

  33. It sounds better on vinyl
  34. Does an audiotape of you being murdered sound better on vinyl? Because that’s the record I wanna hear, you pretentious hipster asshat.

  35. I like their old albums better
  36. I like the old world better before you were born, Kyle.

  37. I liked them before they were cool
  38. I wanted to hit you in the nuts with a sledgehammer before it was cool. Wait no, that was always cool.

  39. Eminem is washed up
  40. There are 2 types of people. People who flipped the fuck out when they heard “Rap God” for the first time, and liars.

  41. I only wear magnum condoms
  42. Any dude that goes out of their way to say they have a big dick DEFINITELY has a small dick. We all know you’re only packing 3 inches on a good day. You’re not fooling anyone, Matthew.

  43. Side chick
  44. Just be a man and call her your mistress like back in the good ol’ days.

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    Wally Bryton

    TFM's most beloved writer

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