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21 Ways To Keep Busy While Waiting For College Football’s Return

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college football return

71 days stand between us and the first kickoff of the 2018 NCAA football season. With only one of the four major sports currently in session, and that sport being baseball *yawn*, fans of action (gambling and otherwise) are currently enduring a tough stretch. Of course it is World Cup season if that’s what you’re into, but it’s not for everyone so please stop trying to get us to watch it.

If you’re having as tough a time waiting on football season as I am, here is a list of things to do to keep your sanity in check.

1. Get drunk, pass out, and hope you don’t wake up until August 25.

2. Fly down to Boca and spend the summer clubbing with the Lane Train.

3. Watch an endless amount of YouTube clips of Nick Saban belittling assistants.

4. Add up how much money the NCAA has made off the backs of unpaid athletes.

5. Construct a blocking sled in the backyard for incoming pledges to use come fall.

6. Risk it all on a longshot in the aforementioned World Cup in hopes of doubling your bankroll for football season.

7. Create a highlight reel of Mike Leach rant videos and play it on loop.

8. Secure an internship with a prominent sports agent so you can spend the summer hanging out with your school’s star player.

9. Do a Gruden-style film breakdown of your previous season tailgating habits.

10. Hit up Josh Gordon for a smoke sesh.

11. Take a woodworking class to learn how to craft a table that you will inevitably try to jump through after five shots of Burnett’s.

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12. Build a scale model of your school’s stadium out of empty Natty Light cans.

13. Get into a throwing contest with an NFL quarterback and hope he doesn’t embarrass you (shouts to Dillon).

14. Go to summer class in place of your school’s star player so he has more time to focus on figuring out ways to make the NCAA money.

15. Become fluent in Cajun by observing Ed Orgeron.

16. Take an online course in football coaching theory so as to have more credibility when heckling your school’s coach on Saturdays.

17. Perfect your skills as a master griller through a rigorous process of trial and error.

18. Hang out around your school’s rec facility and fruitlessly hit on all the crossfit babes.

19. Create a Kickstarter campaign aimed at buying a live version of your school’s mascot as a house pet.

20. Transfer to a fledgling mid-major and immediately be named starting quarterback.

21. Build a time machine so you never have to live through another offseason ever again.

Image via Wikimedia Commons

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Dent

Dent is a washed up former athlete who swears he's totally over his ex-girlfriend. One of these days he'll get around to applying to a real job, but until then he'll keep pumping out lackluster articles while downing copious amounts of Natty Light.

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