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21 Things I learned After Spending 8 Days In Sin City

I have already puked three times since checking in at my gate, my bank account is down to just pennies, and I’ve bargained away any self respect I might have had left. Spending over a week in Sin City will do this to a man. In no way am I in any sort of shape to be writing at this instance, but as was previously mentioned, I’m all out of dough so I’ve got to get back to work.

Here’s a quick list of things that I’ve learned over the past week vacationing in the desert.

1. Eight days in Vegas is too many days.

2. Free drinks aren’t really that free.

3. Asian tourists will take pictures of literally anything.

4. I do in fact hate tequila as much as I thought I did.

5. There is a wide range of prostitutes to fit any and every budget.

6. On that note, there isn’t much people won’t do to make a little scratch.

Take this guy for example…

7. Betting on bowl games is for chumps.

8. I’m a chump.

9. You can spend days in a casino without looking at your phone.

10. Girls really don’t like it when you go days without looking at your phone.

11. Throwing up all over an airport restroom apparently isn’t that uncommon in Vegas.

12. I have no self-control.

13. Your hotel will comp your shit when they find out that you have no self-control.

14. They don’t appreciate you asking if this is the “real” Caesars Palace.

15. Walking down the street with an open container of alcohol is liberating.

16. I was born to put buffets out of business.

17. You can buy shots at 8:00 a.m. and your waitress won’t bat an eye.

18. 24-hour service is the best kind of service.

19. I’m not nearly as concerned about being able to pay my bills this month as I should be.

20. There is a wide range of strip clubs to fit any and every budget.

21. I will be going back soon.

Image via Unsplash.com

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Dent

Washed Up Former Athlete. Totally over my ex-girlfriend. I hold the distinct honor of being the only player in my school's history to receive a football scholarship without being able to bench 225 lbs.

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