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2017 College Football Week 9 Recap: Columbus Blues

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5 major takeaways from the weekend
1. Is Evanston at 11 a.m. one of the weirdest home-field advantages in college football?
2. Raise tuition. Put a damn toll road on Alafaya. Plant evidence on UF having drug and hooker-fueled sacrificial rituals. I don’t care what needs to be done, you don’t let Coach Frost outside of Gemini Blvd unsupervised.
3. I’m all in on a Wisconsin Big 10 championship because I just want to see the world burn.
4. I guess going into a hostile environment and beating the (then) number two team in the country by two scores at their own house just doesn’t matter if it happened in week two. What resilience by Urban and J.T.!
5. I’m very much looking forward to going back to the Northeast for Christmas and seeing a sea of Notre Dame fans who couldn’t locate Indiana on a map.

And how about the culturally misunderstood potatoes?

Impressive stuff. That’s the kind of win that will poll vault (a pun for the folks keeping tabs at home) you in a meaningless midseason power rankings.

Speaking of which, the much awaited and often most controversial rankings known to man are finally being released this week. No, not the CFB playoff committee. The notable 9 from one insignificant frat blogger just hit the interwebs below.

1. Alabama
2. Georgia
3. Notre Dame
4. Clemson
5. Oklahoma State
6. Oklahoma
7. Alabama practice squad
8. Ohio State
9. Penn State

Might as well throw out a Heisman list while we’re at it

Frivilous Heisman Power 5
1. Saqoun Barkley
2. Bryce Love
3. Baker Mayfield
4. Josh Adams
5. J.T. Barrett 🙄

But can we give this bitch to Khalil Tate please? My man is the real-life version of how every single person would play NCAA Road To Glory mode. Just gaudy numbers offensive to all logic. Think Rich Rod regrets that opening week depth chart?

That said, Saquon Barkley finishes with Michigan State, Rutgers, Nebraska, and Maryland. Ample opportunity to pad those stats, separate himself from the pack, and run away with this thing.

But is Saqoun a closer?

Talk about not having the clutch gene. If he can’t deal with defenders in the backfield before he gets handed the ball how does he expect to make it at the next level with the Cleveland Browns? Bust!

As a man with the Penn State moneyline, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t already spending my winnings right at this exact point in the game.

But the gambling gods do not take kindly to premature celebrations. They will drop you on your head.

Alas, James Franklin refused to add any extra protection to a reeling o-line and J.T. “Never shown up for a big game in my life” Barrett carves up a highly questionable Nittany Lion defense.

You know someone who had absolutely no problem with the Buckeyes?

Nobody circles the wagons like the Oklahoma Sooners.

Nice try, nice effort, Tech.

I’ll never get the Baker Mayfield hate. This is the type of edge I want in my college signal caller: A guy that will rip your soul out and proudly wear it on his person for the world to see.

Smoking darts and breaking hearts. Bad boy life isn’t for everyone, but there’s a certain individual in Boca that is just toying with the rest of the country right now.

Hey Lane, I’m not sure whether you’re aware or not, but better things opened up a few hours north.

Just, for the love of all things good and right, stay away from Orlando.

I hear that Matt Campbell fella ain’t half bad, Gators.

Never quit on your dreams, kids.

Campbell will certainly get a steak dinner or two out of another program come January.

Around the rest of the country

AP Top 25
1. Alabama
2. Georgia
3. Ohio State
4. Wisconsin
5. Notre Dame
6. Clemson
7. Penn State
8. Oklahoma
9. Miami
10. TCU
11. Oklahoma State
12. Washington
13. Virginia Tech
14. Iowa State
15. UCF
16. Auburn
17. USC
18. Stanford
19. LSU
20. NC State
21. Mississippi State
22. Memphis
23. Arizona
24. Michigan State
25. Washington State

Special thanks to Criquet Shirts, Tailgate Guys, Hiball Energy, and Natural Light for supporting the TFM tailgate all year long. You can follow us all season long @Backdoorcoverpodcast on Instagram and submit photos and videos for your chance to win the Natural Light Tailgate Contest. Tailgate Guys hooks us up with a dope spot every Texas home game and we’ll be there all season long. Tailgate Guys makes tailgating extremely easy and they run game days on 16 campuses nationwide.

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer, Podcast Host, and Video Guy for Grandex Media. He's Delco trash to the core and a UCF cinema studies graduate because he never got around to applying to an actual film school. Dan is a gambling man, crypto investor, and procrastinator. He enjoys long walks to the water fountain between bench press sets and is not a fan of the homeless, the elderly, or the Phoenix Airport. Email tips to Dan@totalfratmove.com

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