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2017 College Football Week 5 Recap: A Pirate’s Life

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If you’re the joyless bastard that loves betting favorites, this was the week you cashed in. With the exception of a somewhat predictable upset in Pullman, Week 5 of the college football season was chock-full of blue blood programs laying biblical beatdowns on both their inferior competition and my wallet. Nothing brings you back to reality from a worry-free, tropical vacation quite like looking at your bank account after a humbling 2-6 weekend where you’re firing out live bullets fading your original picks just to limit the damage and make October’s rent. The American dollar just doesn’t go as far in 3rd world nations as I originally anticipated.

5 major takeaways from the weekend

  1. Alabama-Clemson round 3 is happening. Just accept it.
  2. Kirby Smart is building Georgia into Alabama Light: serviceable QB, stable of running backs, vaunted defense.
  3. Baton Rouge is envious of Butch Jones’ buyout.
  4. Washington State finishing 5 of their last 7 on the road is going to be brutal.
  5. Ironically, a Big 12 championship this year might just keep the conference out of the playoffs.

Frivilous Heisman Power 5

  1. Saquon Barkley
  2. Baker Mayfield
  3. Bryce Love
  4. Rashaad Penny
  5. Mason Rudolph

This week in existential crisis

The highlight reel plays you’ve already seen a few dozen times

Most lit crowds of the weekend

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Nut flex of the year nominee

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AP Top 25

1. Alabama (44 first-place votes)
2. Clemson (17)
3. Oklahoma
4. Penn State
5. Georgia
6. Washington
7. Michigan
8. TCU
9. Wisconsin
10. Ohio State
11. Washington State
12. Auburn
13. Miami
14. USC
15. Oklahoma State
16. Virginia Tech
17. Louisville
18. USF
19. San Diego State
20. Utah
T21. Notre Dame
T21. Florida
23. West Virginia
24. NC State
25. UCF

Me after seeing UCF in the top 25 less than two years after going 0-12:

Special thanks to Tailgate Guys, Hiball Energy, and Natural Light for supporting the TFM tailgate all year long. You can follow us all season long @Backdoorcoverpodcast on Instagram and submit photos and videos for your chance to win the Natural Light Tailgate Contest. Tailgate Guys hooks us up with a dope spot every Texas home game and we’ll be there all season long. Tailgate Guys makes tailgating extremely easy and they run game days on 16 campuses nationwide.

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer and Video Guy for Grandex Media. Delco trash. UCF alum. Famous FIJI on Wikipedia. Bit of a gambling problem. Advocate of shipping the homeless to Mars. Email tips to Dan@totalfratmove.com

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