We are only a couple short weeks away from college football season. As exciting as the prospects of another tailgate season are, unfortunately, along with that will come another school year, and therefore class. School is boring and you will need to be creative to keep it interesting. Here is a list of 21 power moves to assert your dominance on the first day of class.
1. Walking in, stopping at the front of the room for all to see, clearly surveying the room to identify the hottest girl in class, then walking over and sitting next to her.
2. Putting your feet up on the desk in front of you like you own the place.
3. Introducing yourself to the professor only to tell them that you’re just there to make a “guest appearance,” and they shouldn’t expect you much in the future.
4. Casually drinking a Natty in class because “it helps you wake up.”
5. Reaching into your backpack and pulling out a beer to offer to the professor.
6. Picking up your syllabus and immediately making a very obvious exit.
7. Take a call in the middle of class to let everyone know you’re an important man who does important things.
8. Come straight from the gym so that everyone knows you work out.
9. Introducing yourself to the kid who asked 10 questions day one, and warning him that if it happens again, you’re going to have to haze him.
10. Loudly exclaiming “IDIOT” when someone asks a dumb question.
11. “Forget” your laptop then “borrow” the kid’s next to you to take notes.
12. Highlight all of the rules from the syllabus you’re going to break, then hand it back to the professor at the end of class, and tell them to revise.
13. If the professor is female, very publicly let everyone know you’re into her.
14. Ask your female professor when office hours are, then follow with “What if I need more time?” with a wink.
15. Walk in 30 minutes late and announce: “Sorry, I was busy having SEX!”
16. Write all of your social media accounts on the board, and force everyone to follow.
17. After reading that there will be no extra credit given, ask how you can get extra credit.
18. Bring a loud snack (chips or pretzels work best) and chomp on them aggressively for the duration of the class.
19. Loudly pack up your things with 15 minutes left in class.
20. Just don’t go at all.