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You have to be careful when you walk in somewhere these days. There is just no telling what is happening on the other side of the door.
I remember when I was back in college, opening up my roommate’s door without knocking only to find him furiously masturbating to the blonde cartoon girl in Tangled dancing around the make-believe forest. This was particularly scarring because it was the second time I had witnessed this exact scene go down in my own house, mere feet from my personal quarters. Weirdest part: his dog was in there — just staring at him.
We don’t talk anymore. I prefer Frozen.
Almost everyone has their “walked in on XXXX” story. They are all hilarious in their own twisted ways. Some anonymous folks admitted to a few of the disgusting, uncomfortable situations they accidentally witnessed. Here are some of the best ones.
Used to work in the event industry. Opened one of our storage rooms to get a few more chairs for a wedding we were setting up, and discovered the bride being spit-roasted by the best man and his brother. The funniest part was that I had two of the ushers with me to help carry chairs, and they went and told the groom immediately. Everyone pretty much lost their shit, there was a lot of screaming, security had to be called, and the wedding was canceled.
Maybe they worked it out and got married later?
I walked into a tent (open party tent, with walls, not someone’s private tent) at a festival once and stumbled across a girl on the receiving end of a box wine enema from a dude in a lab coat and goggles. Wasn’t really sure what to do there
Don’t worry about it. It’s just science.
I walked in on a friend and his mom doing… something? First let me explain that we were pretty good friends, and we had an open door policy (meaning come in if the door is unlocked, I didn’t have to knock).
Anyway, they were both sitting on the couch, almost on top of each other, he had no shirt on and a blanket around his waist, so I couldn’t tell if he was naked or not, but he got up with the blanket still around his waist and ran to his room, while his mom just stared at me.
I just turned around and left, to this day I have no idea what was going on (well a pretty good idea, but I hope I’m wrong.) The guy stopped talking to me pretty soon after that, and now I knock before entering someones house.
Fucking your own hot mom. Classic.
Co-worker and I were on a business trip. He walked into his room and there was a business meeting going. His dirty clothes were strewn around the room as he had left them. The room was a suite with a conference table in it. The hotel had let someone use it without realizing it was his room. Needless to say they were very apologetic to him. Gave him a large fruit basket and comped his room for the week.
Business: It happens all around us.
I’ve been waiting for this question. Walked in on a buddy of mine eating out his sister on her 21st birthday after we got back from the bar.
“Happy birthday, sis.” — Jaime Lannister
The CEO of the company hosting a BDSM Dungeon Party in one of our data centers.
One of the benefits of being the goddamn CEO.
I was probably 17/18 years old and walked in on my friend playing with legos. I was about to let him know I was there, but decided to stop and listen. It wasn’t weird until I realized he was acting out what sounded like a very complicated semi-romantic gay relationship between two city workers with the little yellow helmets. They had OUR names. (Am not gay and as far as I know neither is he, but we don’t talk anymore.)
Update: kind of good ending – found him on Facebook and it looks like he’s living in the Pacific Northwest with his husband. So that answers that!
I never purchased the “Complicated Gay Relationship” Lego set, but I’ll have to check it out.
Went to my friends house as a teenager. He was trying to make a bomb.
Meh. Who hasn’t tried to make a bomb?
My Mother and Husband(at the time) having sex on our wedding night. I had went outside for a bit to get fresh air came back into that.
Close families are the best families.
My 30 year old male asian boss staring at his reflection in the freezer doors and trying to do “kawaii” anime girl poses. Wtf dude
Time to find a new job.
When I was 21 I worked on a psych ward. Middle aged manic women used to make a beeline for me. I walked into the room of a very obese 60 year old lady whilst she was completely naked and masturbating. She said “[My name] come and fuck me!”. I turned around and walked out with that image burned into my retinas.
Try as you might, you will never un-see that.
At six months pregnant with my son I walked in on his dad and his dads roommate shaving a random girls vagina. It was 630am on a weekday. They swear cocaine wasnt involved.
Was it a straight razor? Were they providing a service?
In college I walked in on my roommate masturbating to what were clearly photo-shopped nudes of his sister.
Walked in on my dog staring intently at a Vogue magazine cover. While whimpering.
Walked in on my buddy jerking it furiously while he was on speed.. My girlfriend was horrified but the dude just didn’t stop, direct eye contact and just turned back around and got it done. I was impressed
Got to get the damn job done.
Dude in the stall at a metal concert in a dive venue doing coke off the toilet seat while a strung out chick was gobblin’ his knob. She was literally sitting in shit and piss on the floor sucking him off while he was on his knees doing a line of coke off the toilet seat. If you aren’t going to bother closing the fucking door, why not just do it on the counter next to the sink?
Best damn George Strait concert I’ve ever been to.
I was about 14 and walked in on my parents having anal sex on my bed. ON MY BED. To this day, I have no answers and don’t really want to ask any questions.
Hope you cleaned the sheets.
My uncles having sex with one another.
After leaving my grandmother’s funeral in a not great mood, I came home to my boyfriend with his arms around two girls and a naked guy dancing to porn (?) in the living room. Had a slight meltdown and I was told that this was a party to cheer me up from my grandma dying.
Did it work?
Walked into the kitchen with the lights off to find my dad in his underwear slathering jelly on the cat while saying quietly “grape jelly, bitch.”
We have a winner.
To read more of this incredible thread and the someone disconcerting replies, click HERE..
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