15 Best Things Currently Posted To My School’s For Sale Page

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For many schools around the country, the semester has either come to an end or is on the verge of doing so. That means that students will soon be home free to start their holiday break. While this sounds like exciting news, these same students will now be feeling the pressure to scrape up some extra cash before they make the trip back to mom and dad’s humble estate. Christmas gifts are expensive and most of you are just now realizing that you accidentally blew your last dime buying some $10 well drinks for a girl who still doesn’t know your name.

So now what? How does anyone scrape up the cash that they will need to at least get something under the tree for their loved ones? You could sell back all of your textbooks, but chances are that per usual the bookstore will royally dick you out of any real money there. You could try to get an extremely temporary job, but who is really hiring for just a day or two? And of course, you’ve already searched through all of the couch cushions only to find nothing more than 32 cents, a rolled up sock, and a bag of half eaten Skittles. So really what options are left? Judging by the uptick in traffic on my school’s for sale page, the answer is to try and sell all of your useless shit and pray that somebody sees some value in what you’re putting out there. Here is my list of the top 15 things people are actually trying to sell on my school’s Free and For Sale page.

  1. A book that is used in exactly one obscure class at my university that the bookstore wisely won’t take back — $200
  2. Used couch that was picked up off the side of the road for free 4 years ago — $50
  3. Box Set of VHS Tapes of Ken Burn’s Documentaries — $10
  4. Used beer bong that has built up a colony of bacteria over the years — $12
  5. “Party Games” aka the game Apples to Apples with half the cards missing — $15
  6. Three Ring Binder that is half torn from usage — $2 OBO
  7. “Photography services” aka a guy who just bought a DSLR — negotiable
  8. Xbox 360 with a collection of sports games that came out 5 years ago. NCAA might be worth it, honestly — $250
  9. 55″ Box TV purchased in the ’90s that still “works great” — $50 OBO
  10. Plastic Kiddie Pool — $7
  11. 2008 Toyota Camry with low mileage priced suspiciously low that was totally stolen — $400
  12. “Pharmaceutical Services” by some dude named Chad — message for pricing
  13. Roll of partially used duct tape. Respect the hustle — $8
  14. Today Show coffee mug signed by Matt Lauer — $300
  15. “Almost completely rideable” bicycle that is missing the front wheel — $40

What amazing deals. Hope somebody bites. Might pick up NCAA and have Arkansas State humming in the Big 12 and get the Red Wolves in the Natty conversation.

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Dent is a washed up former athlete who swears he's totally over his ex-girlfriend. One of these days he'll get around to applying to a real job, but until then he'll keep pumping out lackluster articles while downing copious amounts of Natty Light.

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