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1. Attend every home football game.
This should go without saying, but it doesn’t. Support your football team like a real American. Just because you’re not in the SEC doesn’t mean you can spend Saturday on the couch. You should be at every single home game during your college career, regardless of how crappy your team is. No excuses, play like a champion. Show up as early as legally possible to tailgate, and force a member of stadium security to drag you out after the game ends.
2. Go to at least one away football game per season.
Don’t just support your school at home; make sure to plan at least one road trip per season to attend an away game. Obviously you want to pick a matchup with a school that has a reputation for getting weird before and after the game. Get out there and represent your college by striking fear into the hearts of the other team’s fans. Spread your wings and fly.
3. Graduate with a GPA of 2.5 or above.
It’s not that hard. Go to class, pay attention every once in a while, and take care of your business. You’re not an idiot, are you? Try making Dean’s List at least once, even if it’s just so you can say you did.
4. Spend the night in an all-girls dorm, or even better, sorority house.
Some rules were made to be broken.
5. Study abroad.
Whether it’s a semester in Europe, or a summer in Costa Rica taking care of your language credits, do it. Soak in as much culture as you can, because once you graduate you’ll be locked in an office for the rest of your life.
6. Play on an intramural team for a sport you normally wouldn’t consider.
Maybe it’s soccer, maybe it’s bowling, maybe it’s water polo. Hell, maybe it’s ultimate frisbee. I don’t know, man. Just play some competitive sports and get deep in the intramural game. It could be your last opportunity to show off that athletic prowess.
7. Avoid becoming a fat, lazy turd.
The freshman fifteen? It’s a real thing. But honestly, you’re even more likely to become a little soft during your upperclassmen years when your metabolism starts to slow. Work in some gym time or you’ll dishonor your family.
8. Get elected to a position in your fraternity, or student government.
Make your mark within your fraternity, and if you feel like really impressing future employers, get yourself elected to student government. Build that resume, guy.
9. Give yourself at least one truly badass spring break.
Hey, if you can go somewhere badass like Cabo every spring break, more power to you. But at the very least, make sure you go all out at least once. No regrets.
10. Make it to graduation in a reasonable amount of time.
I’m not saying you have to graduate in four years. Some people will tell you graduating in 4 years is like leaving a party at 10pm. I’m just saying don’t be that guy that ends up being a 26-year-old junior, creeping out all the 18-year-old girls with his dad body.