Watching celebrities fall from grace is a fascinating thing to witness. Like a modern Greek tragedy, or an entertaining feeling of schadenfreude. Here are the 10 athletes that fell from grace the hardest. Now, before you make your inevitable angry comments about athletes that I forgot, understand that I can’t put EVERY athlete that fell from grace on this list — it’d be too damn long. If I took a shot for every athlete that took steroids, committed a murder, beat women or raped someone, I would die of alcohol poisoning 50 times over.
10. Tiger Woods
WHO IS HE: One of the greatest golfers of all time.
WHAT’D HE DO: He fucked EVERYONE. Everyone. If I was a woman and Tiger didn’t fuck ME, I’d take it personally, that’s how many girls he fucked. He cheated on his wife a zillion times. One of his many mistresses even claimed he peed on her, making him the R. Kelly of sports. You may call him a scumbag, but I call him an American hero.
9. Tonya Harding
WHO IS SHE: An Olympic figure skating champion.
WHAT’D SHE DO: This crazy hoe got people to attack a rival’s knee so she couldn’t compete. She was banned for life from the U.S. Figure Skating Association. Margot Robbie is playing her in an upcoming biopic. That’s gotta take some of the sting off.
8. Lance Armstrong
WHO IS HE: A cyclist who won the Tour de France seven fucking times. He also became a global hero for beating cancer and selling a bunch of yellow bracelets that we all wore in elementary school.
WHAT’D HE DO: He was doping like crazy, got caught using a SHITLOAD of steroids, building a massive empire off of a huge lie. He confessed to all of it on Oprah (because if you’re gonna confess some shit, you gotta do it to Oprah). There’s a great movie about the whole thing called The Program.
7. Ray Rice
WHO IS HE: An NFL player who played for the Baltimore Ravens.
WHAT’D HE DO: Went full Chris Brown on his wife in an elevator. The surveillance footage was released and he was immediately fired. As someone from Baltimore, I can personally attest that the whole city started hating his fucking guts. Rightfully so.
6. Michael Vick
WHO IS HE: A talented NFL player.
WHAT’D HE DO: He was… a very irresponsible pet owner.
5. Ben Roethlisberger
WHO IS HE: The quarterback for the Pittsburgh Steelers.
WHAT’D HE DO: He’s allegedly the original Bill Cosby.
4. Oscar Pistorius
WHO IS HE: A South African sprint runner with no legs. My man ran on some fake cyborg leg things.
WHAT’D HE DO: Murdered his girlfriend, an inspirational act that proves handicapped people CAN do anything.
3. Aaron Hernandez
WHO IS HE: A football player.
WHAT’D HE DO: Convicted of murder and looking like a douche.
2. OJ Simpson
WHO IS HE: One of the greatest NFL players to ever play the game.
WHAT’D HE DO: Killed his ex-wife and her boyfriend. His murder trail was arguably the most publicized criminal trial in American history. The murders completely re-wrote his legacy, to the point where most people don’t even see him as a football player anymore. Just a murderer who happened to play football back in the day.
1. Lamar Odom
WHO IS HE: An NBA player.
WHAT’D HE DO: Married a Kardashian.
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